There are quite a few things that you need to know before you dive deep into the waters of anal sex. However, only one is vital — prep isn’t optional! Your first anal experience should be exciting! What’s more, it should also feel comfortable. That’s why today we’re preaching anal sex prep.
Those of you who want to enjoy anal sex but have seen nothing more than porn and the provocative (but wildly inaccurate) sex scene from “Brokeback Mountain,” need to realize a few things. First of all, spit isn’t lube! Forget those spontaneous scenes of steamy anal sex in fanfiction as well. Those are unrealistic, and it’s only a road to a potential anal fissure.
Anal takes a lot of preparation. And we’re not talking (just) finger up your ass type of prep. No, no! Anal play prep starts with a long, hard talk (first with yourself, then with your partner), and a few strategic moves before you get anywhere near your ass.
So, if you’re looking to engage in anal sex and not have it be a disastrous experience, here are the vital things you have to know.
A Solo Adventure
Experimenting with anal is the number one way to spice up a monogamous relationship. We’ve all read the endless Cosmo articles about it — “Let him breach the back door; it will be fun!”
Well, sure it will, but not if you have no idea what to expect. That’s why it’s always better to test the waters yourself. Play in the shower for a bit, and use a soapy finger to feel around your anus. Does that even feel pleasant? Or like something you might be interested in exploring further?
The more we know our bodies and our sexual preferences, the better our partnered sex will be. So, start your anal adventure on your own before you let your partner join you. That way, there’s less room for potential injuries and embarrassing situations.
The Importance of an Anal Sex Prep Kit
While you’re exploring the land previously unknown, you might discover you find it pleasant. Rather than continuing your one-soapy-finger adventure by adding two or three, consider buying an appropriate sex toy.
Of course, you don’t have to go all in and buy a seven-piece anal prep kit. Start small, with a tiny butt plug or anal beads. However, we do recommend you opt for a toy (of your choosing) rather than manual labor.
Sex toys are body-safe, and there’s very little chance you end up hurting yourself. Although there’s a lot to be said about the hands-on approach, just consider that hangnail you’re always chewing on and how it would feel if it snagged on your most sensitive areas. Yup, silicone (or metal, glass, etc.) is the better option.
There’s No Rush
We understand the excitement that follows that first, monumental breach. You want to keep going, keep exploring, and reach levels of pleasure you’ve only dreamed about. However, don’t let your sexual appetite write cheques your butt can’t cash.
When it comes to anal sex and anal play, it’s best to start small and start excruciatingly slow. Sure, that massive dildo looks delicious, and it would fill you up nicely. But, it would also hurt you and make you walk like you’ve spent your day riding a barrel. So, you know, baby steps.
Partnered Play — Proceed With Caution
After you’ve taken your ass for a ride around the block by yourself a few times, you can invite your partner to see what the fuss is about. However, just because you’ve played with your training kit doesn’t mean your partner can come in guns (and penis) blazing.
Because your partner has to rely on you communicating how every move feels, they need to be extra careful and gentle. It’s a good idea to establish a safe word. Anal play might not seem like a wild, kinky feat that requires a safe word, but it’s always a good idea to have something to fall back on in case of an emergency.
Also, caution your partner and teach them what safewords mean. If they are elbow-deep (metaphorically, of course) in your ass, and you say the safeword, they aren’t supposed to bail out of your ass as if you’ve burned them. Pull out slowly! Easing everything both in and out is vital.
Before You Start Playing
Now let’s discuss something we already mentioned. The prep for anal sex (or any type of anal play) starts long before you get anywhere near your ass. Proper diet and proper hygiene are a must.
Because of the nature of the rectal and digestive systems, we have to be mindful of what we eat (hint: the answer is lots of fiber). Making sure we have comfortable and frequent bowel movements will make anal penetration that much easier.
Of course, hygiene is also essential. Keeping your ass clean is imperative. And we’re not talking just on the outside! No, no! If you want to enjoy clean, frequent anal sex, without eating baby food, you might have to resort to anal douching.
Shower enemas are an excellent way for novices to keep their asses prepped for anal sex. They are comfortable and fuss-free. Most importantly, they will save you the trouble of worrying about anything coming out during sex (or masturbation).
Always Use Plenty of Lube
Of course, the mother of all anal sex rules is that there’s no such thing as too much lube. Without proper lubrication, you can’t even dream of having a comfortable anal experience. No matter the sex positions you try it in, if you aren’t lubed up, you’ll have a horrible of a time.
So, have plenty of water or oil-based lube on hand before you start playing with yourself (or with your partner). Anuses don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do, which means that they need all the help they can get in that department. Don’t leave them dry, or you’ll end up regretting it.
A Few Parting Words
The common misconception that anal is messy isn’t necessarily the whole truth. If you prep yourself and take all the precautions, you should be good to go. Just don’t skip any steps and you’ll have a clean, pleasurable experience. Finally, always remember that, if you’re playing with a partner or sharing anal sex toys, always use a condom. Safety first!